Recently saw a link to a female Red Pill Blogger called The Life Of Liz
The Life Of Liz
Have not had a lot of time to read thru it but her posting today really hit a nerve with me.
The posting itself talks about changes she has made over the past year along with Henry, who I assume is her husband. But the part that got to me is this paragraph near the end.
"One of our early rules was for me to meet him at the door and give him a welcome home kiss;
sounds easy, but it was hard to do with those seven sets of eyes
watching my every move. It also shows how distant we had grown that
getting up and kissing my husband was a hard thing for me to do!"
I don't know when it stopped, but there was a time when the first things we did when the last one got home was to find each other for a kiss and hug. Nothing over the top, just a simple welcome home.
But it did stop, a long time ago. Well, it stopped for my wife at least. I quickly learned that if I wanted affection from my wife it was my job to find it. So I took on the Beta husband role of keeping some level of effection going in the relationship. I won't go into some type of psychological profile of woman and how this may, or may not have, caused my wife to loose attraction to me. Much like my MAP is for myself, I can only speak for my actions and reactions.
One event in particular really got me steamed and has had an effect on me for years now. I was getting home late one night and had stopped at Starbucks to get some coffee and snacks that we could share at home. I get to the front door with two large cups of hot liquid and a bag with snacks. I had to balance the cups and snacks carefully to get my keys out to unlock the door. All the while my wife was sitting less than 4 feet from the door watching TV. She made no attempt get up or help in any way.
I only recently learned what a Display of Low Value is, and that was it. Or I should say that was the first of many for next several years.
I know it seems dumb, and maybe immature, but is it really to much to ask for my wife to make at least some effort to even acknowledge I'm home. The dogs race thru the entire house just to see me, and anyone else who comes in, but it's still nice to see.
Just like in my "Is the Juice Worth the Squeeze" post I ask myself this many times a day anymore.
It would seem silly to say I could throw away 18 years of marriage because she didn't get up to open the door. Yet is it any more silly than staying with a wife who can't tear herself away from the TV, or more likely Facebook, to give her husband a kiss.