I see a movie theme going on with these postings.
For those who don't get it the line is from "The Girl Next Door". A very cute and fun comming of age movie about a high school senior who falls for the new girl who just moved in next door. Turns out she did some porn in her previous life, boy finds out, hilarity ensues.
I fully admit I enjoyed the movie as one of the those old guy guilty pleasure things. Despite that I think the speech below is something we should all hear.
I got the idea for this posting after another thread on the MMSL forum. Just a note this is one of many many threads that essential all say the same thing. It is a very common theme among nearly all the Red Pill boards.
What should I do?
The thread is from a guy whose marriage HAS fallen apart. Wife had an affair, no love or affection from either, etc....
His last line of the original posting is what got me...
"I would be interested in getting feedback from folks based on my story. I am struggling in a world where I have already mourned the end of my mariage but I am still reaching out and getting nothing in return. This is it for me."
This is when you really need to ask yourself "Is the juice worth the squeeze?"
I can certainly understand trying to salvage a marriage. Many of us have spent the better part of our entire adult lives with this other person. We have kids, a house, just simply a life. The idea of waling away from that is terrifying to me and I can admit to that. Now, once I get my shit together and am the man I want to become maybe my view on that will change.
Is being alone worse than being in a sexless/loveless marriage?
I can't really answer that beyond saying that I'm afraid to find out. Right now my focus is on what I need to do now. How do I improve myself and what needs to be done but what happens when that process works.
I think the take away from all this is to constantly be evaluating yourself and asking at every step if the result is worth the effort. If you follow a MAP and improve yourself and your relationship doesn't change are you prepared to end it or will you just accept this as being your life and learn to live with it. Will I just Beta-Up and do what I'm supposed to do, or Alpha-Up and take charge of my life.
It's easy for me, anonymously sitting behind a keyboard, to call these guys out. The real test will be when the time comes for me. I will take the action I know that I need to or will I post on boards looking for validation of my action.
Much like loosing weight and getting in shape there is no secret. Hard work and commitment are it, and at some point we will all need to ask ourselves if it's worth it.
Is the juice worth the squeeze?