I'm not Jean ValJean.
Saw a post today from Average Married Dad that hit home with me.
Who Are You?
Most of us who found, and took, the Red Pill often start with the basics. Getting in shape, dress better, take more charge of our lives, but why. The vital question that needs to be asked is to what end. I, like many, started this because my married life sucks, but again that is just a start.
Who do I want to be when I'm done?
Average Married Dad asked himself the same question, but from a different direction. He started from the outside and wanted to make what's inside match. My journey strated from the inside, and the work is making the outside match.
I don't have any idea how anyone can figure this out, but I wanted to write how I personally am at least starting to find and figure out myself.
Just to make it easy I'll start with my physical self. I won't drag this out beyond saying that I spent many years as a non-competitive weightlifter. That is code for I liked to lift weights but didn't work on my diet. Was big and strong but fat and out of shape. And the truth is I was never really that strong.
One of the things I really needed to ask myself is what do I want to look like. It's easy to say get in better shape and have muscles, but as most goal setters will tell you that is just not enough. I needed to look inside and see who I really am. To be specific and figure out what I wanted, and I did. Without getting to detailed let's just say I am going for a crossfitter who is stronger than he is in shape, if that makes any sense. I like being big and I will never have super low body fat, but I can keep my size and get abs and that is what I am focusing on.
For clothing it was bit easier. I know my wife likes to see me in a suit but I will never be someone who is comfortable dressing like a GQ model. I am a jeans and work boots kind of guy, which is also what my job is. But the effort is in still making an effort to look your best even when you don't have to. This past weekend I bought some new jeans that fit and am always on the lookout for comfortable clothes that I can wear to work but still look nice. It's a work in progress, since I don't have the money or knowledge to just buy all new stuff, but every few weeks I up my game.
How I act will be the biggest, and hardest change, to make. Much like Average Dad the difference between internal/external is pretty big with me. I've started the process by being more Alpha in my daily interactions with everyone but it will be a long road for me.
Like I said, I don't have any insight into how to find this person hiding inside of you. But you need to figure out who it is. My person most likely will change as I progress in my journey, and my goals and actions will change as well, but for now I know who I am inside and what I need to do to make that the outside person as well.