At least that's what women have been taught to believe. More specifically, it's what my woman does believe.
This might fall under the overused, and often abused, pop-sychology crap that a lot of bloggers in the manosphere get off on but I'm wading in with my idea. Or, more like my personal observation of a guy who took the Red Pill.
The below posting, at the Post Masculine blog, is about how an emotional breakup really wrecked him on sex and how he dealt with it.
How to stop lying to yourself
Now to bring everyone up to speed:
Guy is in a relationship with girl.
Guy has sex.
Girl emotionally destroys him.
Guy swears off sex, but not relationships.
It's an interesting read, and I think most men can take away a number of
things about how we deal with ourselves, but for me the more
interesting question was why he avoided sex.
Sex brings about a level of intimacy and closeness for a man that many women just don't understand. There are men in the PUA community who can, and do, use women as nothing more than cum receptacles but I think these assholes are the exception, not the rule. Most men, like myself, can say that marriage without sex is just being roommates. I also feel that most women, like my wife, don't believe us.
It feels like for my wife it is just easier to accept that I'm nothing more than a well paid penis than to see me as a man who uses that penis to bring a level of closeness to a relationship that you can't get to any other way. She, like many women I gather, see sex as just two bodies using each other for their own physical needs. The idea that I want her for sex, and just her, to bring us closer as a couple is something she just won't or can't accept.
Like the link posted above, for a well adjusted man sex brings a level of closeness and intimacy that can't be found any other way. By denying his subsequent girlfriends any sexual contact he was keeping a distance between them that no amount of "What are you thinking?" questions will ever break thru. No matter how many times she tells her friends they were meant to be together, or how much they love each other, no amount of words can bridge the gap that a sexless relationship creates.
If you want to be close, and feel close to your man, then you will have to have sex with him. As horrible as that sounds to many wives out there it's a truth that you can't talk your way out of.
As I've said before, if bad/no sex was the only problem in my relationship, I don't think I could justify ending my marriage. But having zero closeness or intimacy with her makes all the other trivial things seem that much bigger and can make the decision to leave a lot easier.