Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Is Alpha Paleo?

Average Married Dad has been on a tear recently with his postings so I figure I needed to put something up.

A recent post from him got me thinking about the bigger picture of being an Alpha.

Instead of Staying Married

The post is in response to something on the MMSL forum.  Like always I will paraphrase.

Guy threatens to abandon his wife and kids to prove a point about who is in charge of the house.

That's it.  Nothing long or elaborate.  Given the cancer that has started to grow on the MMSL board (the asshole is alpha cancer) I stopped reading it but I looked at a few lines from this posting.  This guy is a great example of the alpha/asshole transformation.  The thread goes on with people saying by threatening to abandon his family he was taking control, and a small few called him on his behavior.

AMD didn't say this exactly, but I would venture a guess that he like myself really feels sorry for these guys who think they need to be borderline abusive, or in this case truly abusive, to take control of their family and lives.  I don't understand it, and I don't want to understand it.

But where is the Paleo connection?  Well I'm glad you asked.

On most any Paleo site, just like the Red Pill sites, you will find a wide variety of opinions of what counts as being either Alpha, or Paleo.  Asking if coconut oil is Paleo is not really that different from asking if abandoning you family is Alpha.  Now I want to be clear that there are some areas where there is no debate.

I don't care how many times you put Paleo on the bag a loaf of bread will never be Paleo.  And for the most part there is universal acceptance that a highly processed food, now matter how healthy it is supposed to be, is not really Paleo. But what about bacon, or coconut aminos, or honey?  These are the grey area questions.

I also don't care how many times a guy writes that he took the Red Pill.  If he is standing in the middle of the mall holding his wifes purse while she is ordering a coffee then I would say he is color blind.  But what about the guy who thinks leading his family means he needs to dominate his wife.  That taking the Red Pill means breaking her like a wild horse.  What if he cancels her bank card and only allows her to spend money when he is around?

For me, personally, bacon is fine as a Paleo food, and I don't need to abusively dominate my wife to lead my family.  I admit I am still struggling with the bank card thing but so far we are eeking by without any major damage.

When I first thought about this post, and wanting to write about a so called Alpha abandoning his family I was going to rip this guy a new asshole.  In the end though my take away is that his definition of alpha has nothing to do with mine.  Like I've said before he is not wrong, and I am not right.  It's simply the choices that we all make everyday on our journey.

I will with all my heart and soul disagree with the way he treats his wife, but it is his life.  How someone else defines Alpha, or Paleo, will never change the way I live.  I may never be alpha by the MMSL standard, but if that means I am good husband and father who leads my family without needing to threaten them, I'm fine with that.  Many men these days seem more interested in a label then in actually living a great life.  Happy to say I am not one of them.

One of the most alpha things a man can do, is to stop worrying about what all the other men are doing and saying.  Don't just be your own the best man you can possibly be.  Find your true self and live.  Hopefully your true self is not an abusive asshole, but many men are more than happy to embrace that lifestyle.  It's just not, nor will it ever, be for me.

Thursday, June 20, 2013

What...You Think You're Better Than Me?????

In the event you are living under a rock the AMA this week classified obesity as a disease.

AMA Classifies Obesity as a Disease

This was big news in some places, but it has exploded on many many manosphere sites.  Even the ladies are getting in on the action. Of course my favorite submissive lap dog wife chimed in on this as well.

The fist thing you notice is that for many of the self proclaimed beautiful people being 10 pounds over weight is considered obese.  It's an interesting number because to read their blogs they all want to loose more weight, but it's never enough to qualify themselves as obese.  No, only other people have that problem.

Of course none of them seem smart enough to know that medically defined obesity, like the AMA is talking about, is actually medically defined.  Some skinny blogger complaining about that last 5 pounds is not really qualified to decide who is obese.  But let's not let medical science get in the way of them feeling better.

The second thing you notice is they think if a person is obese it's because of personal choices.  The idea that there is an actual medical reason for a person's weight is just beyond them.  Again, I understand that many of these bloggers are not the sharpest tack in the box and they struggle with many concepts, but it does seem universal that thin people assume it's easy for everyone to be thin.

Lastly they also think that every overweight person in the world now will just belly up to the all you can eat buffet because they have no control anymore.  This is similar to my second point in that they just can not comprehend how a person would be different from them.  Why everyone would not want to be like them is inconceivable, and yes that word does mean what I think it does.

For most people, not being obese is a matter of effort.  Watch what you eat, get some exercise, make healthy choices and it all works out.  You may never look like magazine model but you can be a healthy person with some effort.  But I did say most people.  There are many who do have real medical issues that require medical intervention. Simply telling them to eat less and move more is no more help then telling Bobby Brady that hanging from the swing set out back will make him taller.  It might make the self important blogger feel better, but that advice only works in their world.

The reality here is that by defining obesity as a disease the medical community, and by extension medical insurance, will be better able to help people who have a real need.  While there will be people who will use this as an excuse, I think they are the exception, not the rule.  An interesting side note here is that most of the criticism of the AMA, and obese people in general, is not coming from the health and fitness community.  I would venture a guess that most health PROFESSIONALS (capitalized for emphasis) are happy with the decision and hope it will help them in treating their obese clientele.

Look around the manosphere enough and you will see plenty of examples of men who have taken the Red Pill and are using it as an excuse to be complete assholes.  You will also see plenty of women who worship the ground they walk on, and I do mean that literally in case of Red Pill Wifery.  Like obesity, these are the exceptions not the rule.

I took the Red Pill and it has allowed me to see myself.  I can also see the world around me and understand that not everyone has the same goal as me.  Not every person will make the same life choices as myself, and that's OK. Like I have mentioned before, the Red Pill will only show you the reality of the world around you.  You can pretend to take the pill and then attack people who are different, or you can take the pill and accept the reality.

I am not in great shape, but I'm in better shape than many people.  I am in better shape, but I am not better than them.  I made the decision to improve myself, and one area I am working on is my physical appearance.  This is my choice.  My choice is best for me, but it is no better or worse than another person's choice.

Looking at the world and assuming that every obese person is obese by choice is no different than looking at the world and assuming that every woman wants to be the submissive servant of their asshole husband.  You can lead a person to the Red Pill, but you can't make them see.

Thursday, June 13, 2013

Nurture, Nature, BBW

I had been mulling this idea around in my head for some time and a recent posting by Average Married Dad finally got me to write it.

Skinny Husbands, Fat Wives

As I've said before I won't use this blog as a platform to bash my wife but I can say that she is not thin.  To be honest she doesn't have the frame to really be thin, but that is not my point.

In order to really get my point I will give some background.

My first girlfriend in high school was pretty hot.  Pretty, ran track, active with a nice rack.  She was not porn start hot, but she was hot by my standards.  She was my first sexual partner and while it wasn't anything earth shattering I do have fond memories of her.  I was a boobs and leg guy and she was perfect for me.

In college my girlfriend was also hot.  She was this tiny little thing with long black hair, liked to work out, and had a set of boobs that was mesmerizing.  She had the kind of rack that many guys would say if they had to choose a way to die, being smothered in her bosom would be the way to go.  She was also open to sexually experiment and I loved it.  Nothing crazy or dangerous, but she was very open minded.  She seemed happy to indulge my spandex fetish and to this day I think about some of the afternoons we spent together.  Again, I was a legs and boobs guy and this worked out great.

Fast forward to today and I'm a full on ass junky.  I've never really thought about the transition until recently, but it did happen.  My wife, even when we first met and she was much thinner (but never really thin), didn't have a great rack but I liked all of her.  But as time has gone on, and she has gained weight, my interest in her has gone from the front to the back.  The fact that when we were dating she would, on rare occasion, allow me to have anal with her didn't help any but I have changed.

I touched on this in a previous post but I often think that we, as a defense mechanism, learn to enjoy what we have.  Do I really love my career, or is it just way of not feeling like an idiot for spending so many years doing something I don't like.  Am I really an ass man, or is that just what's available to me so I've learned to love it.

The real kicker is what if I have always been an ass man but was lying to myself back in college.  Heavy stuff but irrelevant right now.

The bigger point I am trying to make now comes around to the Red Pill.

Taking the Red Pill will show you the reality of the world around you, but it should also show you the reality of YOU!!!  As Average Married Dad mentioned so people do like larger women.  Despite the pressure the the PUA community likes to put out there a women who is so thin that you can see her spine is not the least bit attractive to me.  Add in some huge fake boobs and the PUA's are in a frenzy but not me.

I don't really know who I am, or what I will ultimately like.  Maybe as I continue to loose weight and get in better shape and health my wife will come along and we will get back to where we were.  But right now, looking at myself, I just don't know.

I do know, however, that taking the Red Pill should mean more then just sex.  It should mean that you open your eyes to the reality of who you are now, and who you really are and will become later.  I think it's easy to start demanding your wife be more submissive to your commands because you took a figurative pill.  I think it's a lot harder, however, to turn your focus inside and work to make some real changes.

I, for one, need to focus on this much more.  And maybe in the end I will be a better person for it.

Friday, June 7, 2013

The Over Inflated Alpha Ego

I've noticed a pattern these last few posting that I am going to stop.  I started this blog as an online journal of my own journey but seem to be focusing a lot of my time writing about other people.  While I enjoy the academic exercise of picking apart the failings of a self proclaimed alpha it is not helping me any.

So I'm going to stop doing it.......right after this past.

I saw this posting on Athol's site not long ago but let it go.  But then it popped up again with some commentary from my favorite submissive wife.


Long story short Mr Super Alpha puts the moves on his wife while she is on her period.  Apparently they were going somewhere and his wife might not be able to bring him to orgasm for a few days.  Mr Super Alpha decided that was just way to long to go without his wife servicing him so he pushed the issue.

As expected his wife, after spending the better part of a week bleeding from her vagina, reacted poorly.  Rather than admitting he was a complete asshole for initiating in the first place he decides that his wife needs to be punished for not submitting to his wants.  There is that submissive wife thing so popular among the self proclaimed alpha set.

His punishment for her is he turns off the "Love Express" as he calls it.  The post really goes downhill from there as he spends the rest of it going on and on about how awesome he is and how old and shriveled his wife is.

I get it.  He is God's gift to women of the world and his wife's loss is the gain of females everywhere.  I'm sure just reading that he might leave his wife turned millions of vaginas into Niagara Falls.

He is Mr Super Alpha.  He could have any women he wants and they are all much younger and hotter than the one he has right now.

He is Mr Super Alpha and is ready to leave for the greener pastures filled with hot young women who are all but throwing themselves at him now.

He is Mr Super Alpha........and then his wife offers him sex and he is in love with her again.

I had to do a double take on that as well.  He spends an entire post trying to convince us that he is a totally awesome specimen of alpha male who is married to a shriveled old woman and ends it with him falling in love with her again because of the sex.

I have no problem with the dynamic or the narrative he attempted to give but he is clearly someone with a very over inflated sense of himself relative to the world around him.  The entire post wreaks of machismo that is usually only found in a college football locker room.  But here we have a grown man claiming that he could walk out his door and find a half dozen hot young women willing to have sex with him.

Taking the Red Pill is supposed to show you the world, your world, as it is.  But clearly there are many men who take the pill only wanting to see the world as they want it.  Big difference.

Maybe this guy is totally made of awesome and women the world over would fight to the death for the chance to be under his thumb.  Mostly likely his new view of the world is based on his own created narrative of how awesome he is.  The fact that this worked on his wife, sort of, is not really the point for me.

The point for me is that some anonymous poster on a message board went to great lengths to explain how great and alpha he is and why he is so much better than his homely wife only to take her back because of sex.

I guess that is what they mean by keeping frame.  Just that Mr Super Alpha apparently keeps his frame hanging from his cock.  Anyone who has access to his cock, has access to his frame.

Monday, June 3, 2013

The Red Pill Beta

Last week Ian Ironwood made a posting about a guy who calls himself Beta Dad.


Like many of Ian's posts, it's very deep and thought provoking and way over my head.  His commentary was more about the reaction of other people to a specific post that Beta Dad wrote.

Below is how Beta Dad responded to many of the people critical of his original article.


I'll start off by saying that other than the above posting I have never, nor will I ever, read any of Beta Dad's writing. Nothing against the guy, and to be honest I actually have a lot of respect for what he is doing.  It can't be easy, as a man, to admit you essentially want to be the woman in the relationship. But from what I have read he has absolutely nothing to add to my life journey beyond a really great example of exactly what I don't ever want to be.

But again, my interest in all this is not for the obvious.  The title of my posting, The Red Pill Beta, may seem contradictory to many.  I am going to go out on a limb and say that Beta Dad at some point in the past took the Red Pill.

Let's take a few steps back and really look at his situation.  He recognizes that his wife makes the money and runs the house.  His job is to support the family and his wife in any way needed.  Real Beta stuff, but he is not pretending to be anything other than a Beta.  In the end, isn't the Red Pill just about seeing the reality of your own world.  The Red Pill is not about answers, or direction, or Beta/Alpha.  The Red Pill can only offer truth and reality.  Nothing more, and nothing less.

I've mentioned before, and here is another good example, of how we all live in different worlds.  My reality, of where my life is now and where I want it to one day be, is the complete opposite of Beta Dad.  But we are both OK with that.  I am not right, and he is not wrong, in how choose to live our lives.  They are different, but neither is more right than the other.

The only problem that I do have, is that Beta Dad clearly needs another shot of Red Pill.  He was willing to be a stay at home dad raising his kids and tending to the house as needed in the beginning but clearly there are cracks in the foundation now.  He is looking at other women and having fantasies, which is no big deal.  But his guilt gives a window into his mind and his feelings towards his wife.  He feels guilty because the balance that most men keep between stranger fantasy and real intamacy with his wife is not longer balanced.

Rather than accept that his fantasy life is showing a lack of attraction to his wife he chooses to stand on his soapbox and punch himself in the balls.  I won't watch, but it would be interesting to see how this develops.  The internal struggle he is having between his feelings as a man, and his belief in what a Beta should do will be very educational for many to watch.

Taking the Red Pill is the first step for many men on this journey, but the destination isn't defined by the pill.  Being an Alpha/Beta/Gamma/Omega/Psi or whatever Greek letter you pick is up to the person taking the pill.  The Red Pill will not show you anything beyond the reality of your world.  What you do with that reality is ultimately what will define you.