Average Married Dad has been on a tear recently with his postings so I figure I needed to put something up.
A recent post from him got me thinking about the bigger picture of being an Alpha.
Instead of Staying Married
The post is in response to something on the MMSL forum. Like always I will paraphrase.
Guy threatens to abandon his wife and kids to prove a point about who is in charge of the house.
That's it. Nothing long or elaborate. Given the cancer that has started to grow on the MMSL board (the asshole is alpha cancer) I stopped reading it but I looked at a few lines from this posting. This guy is a great example of the alpha/asshole transformation. The thread goes on with people saying by threatening to abandon his family he was taking control, and a small few called him on his behavior.
AMD didn't say this exactly, but I would venture a guess that he like myself really feels sorry for these guys who think they need to be borderline abusive, or in this case truly abusive, to take control of their family and lives. I don't understand it, and I don't want to understand it.
But where is the Paleo connection? Well I'm glad you asked.
On most any Paleo site, just like the Red Pill sites, you will find a wide variety of opinions of what counts as being either Alpha, or Paleo. Asking if coconut oil is Paleo is not really that different from asking if abandoning you family is Alpha. Now I want to be clear that there are some areas where there is no debate.
I don't care how many times you put Paleo on the bag a loaf of bread will never be Paleo. And for the most part there is universal acceptance that a highly processed food, now matter how healthy it is supposed to be, is not really Paleo. But what about bacon, or coconut aminos, or honey? These are the grey area questions.
I also don't care how many times a guy writes that he took the Red Pill. If he is standing in the middle of the mall holding his wifes purse while she is ordering a coffee then I would say he is color blind. But what about the guy who thinks leading his family means he needs to dominate his wife. That taking the Red Pill means breaking her like a wild horse. What if he cancels her bank card and only allows her to spend money when he is around?
For me, personally, bacon is fine as a Paleo food, and I don't need to abusively dominate my wife to lead my family. I admit I am still struggling with the bank card thing but so far we are eeking by without any major damage.
When I first thought about this post, and wanting to write about a so called Alpha abandoning his family I was going to rip this guy a new asshole. In the end though my take away is that his definition of alpha has nothing to do with mine. Like I've said before he is not wrong, and I am not right. It's simply the choices that we all make everyday on our journey.
I will with all my heart and soul disagree with the way he treats his wife, but it is his life. How someone else defines Alpha, or Paleo, will never change the way I live. I may never be alpha by the MMSL standard, but if that means I am good husband and father who leads my family without needing to threaten them, I'm fine with that. Many men these days seem more interested in a label then in actually living a great life. Happy to say I am not one of them.
One of the most alpha things a man can do, is to stop worrying about what all the other men are doing and saying. Don't just be your own man.....be the best man you can possibly be. Find your true self and live. Hopefully your true self is not an abusive asshole, but many men are more than happy to embrace that lifestyle. It's just not, nor will it ever, be for me.