Thursday, June 13, 2013

Nurture, Nature, BBW

I had been mulling this idea around in my head for some time and a recent posting by Average Married Dad finally got me to write it.

Skinny Husbands, Fat Wives

As I've said before I won't use this blog as a platform to bash my wife but I can say that she is not thin.  To be honest she doesn't have the frame to really be thin, but that is not my point.

In order to really get my point I will give some background.

My first girlfriend in high school was pretty hot.  Pretty, ran track, active with a nice rack.  She was not porn start hot, but she was hot by my standards.  She was my first sexual partner and while it wasn't anything earth shattering I do have fond memories of her.  I was a boobs and leg guy and she was perfect for me.

In college my girlfriend was also hot.  She was this tiny little thing with long black hair, liked to work out, and had a set of boobs that was mesmerizing.  She had the kind of rack that many guys would say if they had to choose a way to die, being smothered in her bosom would be the way to go.  She was also open to sexually experiment and I loved it.  Nothing crazy or dangerous, but she was very open minded.  She seemed happy to indulge my spandex fetish and to this day I think about some of the afternoons we spent together.  Again, I was a legs and boobs guy and this worked out great.

Fast forward to today and I'm a full on ass junky.  I've never really thought about the transition until recently, but it did happen.  My wife, even when we first met and she was much thinner (but never really thin), didn't have a great rack but I liked all of her.  But as time has gone on, and she has gained weight, my interest in her has gone from the front to the back.  The fact that when we were dating she would, on rare occasion, allow me to have anal with her didn't help any but I have changed.

I touched on this in a previous post but I often think that we, as a defense mechanism, learn to enjoy what we have.  Do I really love my career, or is it just way of not feeling like an idiot for spending so many years doing something I don't like.  Am I really an ass man, or is that just what's available to me so I've learned to love it.

The real kicker is what if I have always been an ass man but was lying to myself back in college.  Heavy stuff but irrelevant right now.

The bigger point I am trying to make now comes around to the Red Pill.

Taking the Red Pill will show you the reality of the world around you, but it should also show you the reality of YOU!!!  As Average Married Dad mentioned so people do like larger women.  Despite the pressure the the PUA community likes to put out there a women who is so thin that you can see her spine is not the least bit attractive to me.  Add in some huge fake boobs and the PUA's are in a frenzy but not me.

I don't really know who I am, or what I will ultimately like.  Maybe as I continue to loose weight and get in better shape and health my wife will come along and we will get back to where we were.  But right now, looking at myself, I just don't know.

I do know, however, that taking the Red Pill should mean more then just sex.  It should mean that you open your eyes to the reality of who you are now, and who you really are and will become later.  I think it's easy to start demanding your wife be more submissive to your commands because you took a figurative pill.  I think it's a lot harder, however, to turn your focus inside and work to make some real changes.

I, for one, need to focus on this much more.  And maybe in the end I will be a better person for it.

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